Not so much lesbian

I love women. And there are times when I am even attracted to them. Sometimes I find myself admiring a woman, noticing how the elegant curves of her neck and calves align, watching how she arches her eyebrows or talks with a smile when telling a story. And I wonder how she must make a man feel, and hope that there will be a man who will appreciate those curves, that smile. I think, if I were a man, it would be so easy...

But I am not a lesbian. Okay, yeah--I've been intimate with a couple girls in the past, and it was fun. But for me, it was just sex. I know that I'm not equipped to actually have a relationship, other than friendship, with a woman. It's my opinion that women are--how shall I say it? They're crazy. They do change when sex is involved. And I hate to say that, because I realize that it's a bit of a reflection on myself--that it should mean, in essence, that I am crazy and change my behavior when sex is brought into the equation. And I hate seeing myself as one of those "mostly straight" girls who strays when it's convenient. So that sucks. But regardless, I know that I am basically heterosexual... much to the disappointment of some friends, ex-boyfriends, Latinas and occasionally, my mom.

For lack of a better term, my mother is something of a fag hag. But no, I have to take that back, because I don't really feel comfortable calling my mom a "hag." Plus, she's been quite happily heterosexually married (and believe me, they're still active-- ew ew ew) for, like, 22 years. She's more of a friend to the homosexual community at large. A queen of queers. No, that's not quite right either. A homey to the homos. Ergh. How 'bout a Same-Sex Sally? Yeah... no. Uh... well, anyway, she's just a pro-gay gal.

So last night, we were at the bar at Shame on the Moon (a very classy, very gay joint with excellent food, a charming bartender who calls my mom his "best friend," and is my parents' sometime neighborhood tavern), and in walked these two mega-hot, totally done-up, young-ish women. And they were biologically female. They were also obviously a couple. My mom was enthralled--and in a bit of shock. You see, while Palm Springs is one big ole gay town, from what I've seen, it's mostly of the male variation, and older, more... um... subdued lesbians. You know, the kind that like big trucks and country western music. Like, the UPS lady. And the dog trainer.

But so my mom just couldn't get over the fact that the young, hot lesbian ladies were so feminine. "They're lipstick lesbians, Mom," I said. "Lipstick lesbians?" she asked, incredulously. "I've never heard of that."

Anyway, we're on our way to the Gay Pride Parade in downtown Palm Springs. I'll post pictures after.